Oh, Bugger Me!
by AberforthDumbledore090
Summary: One Ginny Weasley has decided to do the unthinkable. What is Harry's reaction and how will the eclectic Luna Lovegood help him?


**My sandcastle on J.K. Rowling's beach.**

Harry was wandering through the corridors in Hogwarts. He was doing that a lot during the past few months.

Sometime during the previous summer Voldemort had attacked him in Diagon Alley with his entire army.

What Voldemort didn't realize was that attacking Harry would invoke the wrath of the entire auror and Unspeakable force of Britain.

Harry had talked Professor McGonagall into discussing the Prophecy with the Ministry. Incompetent that they might be, they still had the aurors and Unspeakables.

Everyone was forced to take an oath of silence and each time Harry went out he was tagged with numerous guards. If Voldemort ever attacked, the entire force of Britain would swoop down upon him and whoever he brought with him.

The ignorant idiot couldn't resist attacking. No Death Eaters were captured alive this time though. The aurors from the previous war had informed the new recruits of how they would just be broken out with the next Dark Lord. Nobody liked that idea, so they used lethal force to take every single one of them down.

Instead of a duel of epic proportions, Harry managed to catch Voldemort unaware with a second wand. At first the Priori Incantatem happened again and Voldemort went on and on about how he had read up on the effect and how he could beat it. Harry just went along with the plan and threw away his own wand, which caused all the magic to go straight to Voldemort's wand... which exploded in reaction to the brutal disconnection.

Harry had merely pulled out another wand and started throwing slicing hexes at Voldemort. Since Voldemort didn't expect that, he died a few seconds later.

Harry had deflected most of his fame this time and pushed it towards the Ministry. He didn't need any of it. Fame was a fickle friend anyway.

While walking through the halls he heard a familiar voice from a classroom nearby. The door was ajar.

"... like Harry knows any of the Ancient Pureblood Laws anyway. He'll be caught off guard and he'll have no choice to marry me. He might be able to fight a Dark Lord, but he doesn't understand the first thing when it comes to life. Yes, this will work brilliantly. I _will_ be the wife of the Boy-Who-Lived," finished the familiar female voice.

Harry ducked behind a nearby statue to see Ginny Weasley leaving the classroom with a book tucked in her arms. He couldn't make out the title, but she was headed towards the library.

Harry's eyes narrowed a bit and he followed her at a distance. When she vacated the library, he waited for a few minutes before entering. He went straight to the librarian, Madam Prince.

"Hello Madam Prince, could you tell me which book it was that Ginny brought back a few minutes ago? She needs it again but doesn't have the time to come back here," asked Harry charmingly.

"Of course, Mr. Harry, just give me a moment and I'll fetch it for you," responded Madam Prince.

Harry walked out of the library a few minutes later with a familiar looking book in his arms. The books was indeed about Ancient Pureblood Laws. While most people would expect a very thick old book, it was quite the contrary. The book looked very modern and extremely thin. Harry had asked Madam Prince about that and she had told him that Miss Weasley had asked for only the still active laws, not all of them.

Harry started scanning the book for everything about marriages and eventually stumbled upon the only section that Ginny might have found interesting.

He stared at the book in shock, "No... she wouldn't!"

 _/Pregnancy amongst unmarried witches_

 _If a pureblood witch is found pregnant while still unmarried, then both mother and father of the unborn child will be required to marry. A healer will cast a spell to determine who the father is. The spell will also bind both together, so they can not harm each other. The couple will be required to marry within a week of casting the detection spell._

 _The only exclusion of this law is in circumstances that the mother was raped by the father. In these circumstances the father will be oath-bound to the witch or executed. Everything owned by the rapist will immediately be forfeited to the victim./_

Harry didn't understand why Ginny would do something like that; she had been dating Corner and Thomas for Merlin's sake.

After staring at the page for a few minutes, Harry concluded that he needed more information. He took the book back to the library and headed to his dormitory.

It had taken Harry several days of following Ginny around in his invisibility cloak while using the Marauders Map to locate her, but he had finally found out the entire plan.

Ginny would be giving him a love potion. When that took effect and Harry would make a move, she would take a fertility potion and they would " _get to it"_.

One month later she would go to the Hospital Wing and they would notice that she was pregnant. Ginny would play the hysterical witch and she would tell everyone that Harry was the father.

Harry was walking around in the Room of Requirements for the past few hours. He needed a plan to solve this entire mess. It was disgusting to see how many potions there were to screw people over.

' _Hmm... potions...,_ ' thought Harry while raising his eyebrow.

Half an hour later he had formed his plan. If there was one thing Harry had learned over the past year, it was one thing.

No mercy. If someone liked to screw around with him, he would return the favor with pleasure.

Luna Lovegood was walking in the halls to her dormitory. She was reputed to be the strangest witch in the castle. Her blonde hair flowed over her shoulders and only stopped at the middle of her back. Her figure was perfect, something that was not well known since the school robes hid a lot. That is one thing Luna was grateful for. Otherwise she would have even more attention.

Even though she was gorgeous there wasn't a single person that dared to go close to her. Because of her own reputation. No one wanted to date Loony Luna Lovegood.

That was the reason that Luna Lovegood was silly enough to have dropped some of her defenses. Luna was literally stunned at the fact that she was stunned from behind. She didn't see her attacker when she was floated into an empty classroom.

A few moments later she found herself bound to a chair and silenced. Only then did the attacker remove the effects of the stunner.

Luna tried to get her hands free and draw her wand when her attacker appeared in front of her, with her wand in his hands.

"Looking for this Miss Lovegood?" asked a boy with dark hair which was a bloody mess.

" _Harry?_ " she asked dreamily.

"Oh, do stop struggling my dear," said Harry. It was one of the things he learned from Professor Dumbledore even though the latter never intended that lesson. Nothing was more successful to quickly pissing of people than calling them ' _my_ _boy_ ' or ' _my_ _dear_ '.

"I'm here to make a proposal my dear," said Harry with a grin on his face.

Luna retaliated with a combination of several questioning glances.

Luna eventually she settled down on the chair to await the verdict. It wasn't like she could do anything anyway.

"As I already mentioned, I have a proposal for you. It seems that even with your reputation of being such a dear," said Harry with a playful grin on his face, "Roger Davies is still longing after you. I'm currently having the same problem with a certain Weasley in the castle."

One of Luna's eyebrows shot up for a second with amusement.

Harry rolled his eyes, "No, not Ronald, it's dear Ginevra. You know her, don't you? The cute little sister, the little fireball with a temper, the slut that wants me to shag her, so she gets pregnant and I'm forced to marry her?"

Luna responded with a small widening of her eyes. Then again, she could only do facial expressions since she was still silenced.

Harry got a small smile on his face while continuing, "So I thought up a rather complicated plan and wanted to bring a rather intelligent woman in on it. I'm not a selfish person. Why should I be able to get rid of Ginevra while you still had to deal with Davies? Well, that and I really can't stand the sight of the obnoxious little shit anymore.

"Blink once with your eyes if you want to hear the plan to get rid of both. You can still decide to help or not after hearing it. Blink twice if you don't want anything to do with this and I'll let you walk away."

After a few moments of indecision Luna blinked once.

"Good choice," he said while dispelling the silencing charm and the ropes that tied her to the chair.

He walked over to Luna and gave her wand back. The second the wand was in her hand, she sent a stinging hex at his arm

"That," she told him, "was for stunning me."

She then sat back down on the chair while twirling her wand around, waiting for Harry to start talking again.

"Well, I guess I deserved that one," he mumbled, "but would you have come in here without me doing that?"

"Of course not," she stated without caring, "but did you really expect me to take this without retaliating?"

Harry blinked in return and just cursed, "Bloody Ravenclaw's."

Luna smirked and stopped twirling her wand. Instead she started fumbling with her hair a bit.

"So, what's your plan Harry?" She asked.

"Fine, fine. You already heard my lovely situation. Ginny seems to think I belong to her and will stop at nothing to get me. She'll take a fertility potion while dosing me with love potion. I shag her, she waits for a while and then says I'm the father. If I decline then she'll just enact some old crappy law that can determine the father and I'm stuck in her web after that," Harry finished.

"And what," Luna started, "does that have to do with me?"

"Don't you ever get tired of only thinking about yourself my dear?" asked Harry with a grin.

"Argh, stupid Gryffindor's. I don't think of only myself you shrimp," Luna said vehemently.

"No?"

"No, I think about my family. The Lovegood's have one rule above all. Family first. No matter the circumstances," said Luna.

"Ah, well then I'll make it interesting for you as well. I already mentioned Davies. Wouldn't you want to get rid of him drooling over you all the time? Even with your dear reputation, I doubt you can keep fending the obnoxious idiot off. He might just stun you in the back like I did and pull a Ginevra on you," said Harry.

Harry saw her eyes widen a bit at the implication.

"That's rape you idiot, I could have him killed," stated Luna.

"Not if you're high on love potions my dear," started Harry and he saw Luna getting frustrated at the nickname. This only put a smile on his face while continuing, "then you'll be forced to marry him as well and spent the rest of your life with the little sunshine.

"While he might just force you anyway, you would still have to live with the consequences of the little shit."

"Do you have a plan to take care of all of this or are you just going to keep repeating the same stuff over and over?" Asked Luna.

"Why, of course I have a plan... I'm Harry Potter!" he finished while puffing out his chest.

Luna collapsed in laughter while managing to get out, "Stay noble Harry ... that ... was just ... so ... ridiculous ..."

Harry tried to look offended but eventually got a grin on his face because she had a lovely laugh.

"Well, it's simple really. There are so many potions to screw around with... Why not use a couple more potions?" asked Harry.

Ten minutes of explanation later and Luna could only make one comment.

"Bloody hell Harry!"

Harry only smirked in reply while wishing he had asked Professor Dumbledore how to do a twinkle. It would have been so nice in this situation. He sighed inwardly at the missed opportunity.

One day later saw Harry looking at the Marauders Map while standing in a deserted corridor. It looked like something was going well, because he pulled out a potion from his robes and swallowed the contents.

Ten seconds later the only person in the deserted hallway was a person that looked very much like Neville Longbottom. Some people would call that strange, especially if the Map still showed Harry Potter as being there.

In the distance Ginny Weasley just came into that deserted corridor.

She wasn't really looking where she was going so Neville sent a quick tripping hex at her. She tripped, and all the contents of her bag went sprawling across the corridor.

Neville being the helpful guy that he is, went over to her and helped her get everything back.

While trying to look flushed and embarrassed, Neville finally stammered out, "You know Ginny, ... I was wondering if ... you know ... you'd like to go out with me?"

Ginny just looked exasperated and replied, "Sorry Neville but I've already got my hopes set on someone. I'm sure you'll find someone special, but it just won't be me."

Neville looked at her for a second and then said, "You're not having that crush on Harry again, do you?"

Ginny looked angry and wanted to retort with several nasty curses, but Neville held his hand up and said, "Look, Harry trusted me with this, so don't let it become public knowledge, ok?"

Ginny nodded immediately while looking very interested in what Neville had to say.

"I'll need more than that Ginny, you need to swear to never tell anyone about this conversation or the direct actions that might come from it," Neville said while looking around anxiously.

Ginny made exactly that oath and then looked at Neville.

"Harry told me he's already in love with someone and will probably ask her to marry him at the end of the school year. He's been seeing Luna Lovegood the past few months. They meet every Saturday evening in the Room of Requirements and they ... well," Neville finished blushing furiously.

Ginny looked completely red from anger and started shouting out, "That stupid bastard! How dare he get together with such a stupid bint!"

Neville just made an offhand comment, "Now you know Ginny," he sighed, "You won't stand a single chance unless you plan on nicking Polyjuice Potion from Slughorn's office and taking Luna's place. Sorry Ginny. Just so you know, I'll probably be available till the end of the year. After that I'll be looking around for someone else."

Neville started walking away from Ginny. He looked back before turning the hallway and saw a calculating gleam on Ginny's face.

He walked into a nearby classroom where Luna was waiting and just said, "Success, I didn't know manipulating people would be that easy."

Luna smirked, "You would be surprised what you can pull off with a bit of cunning in this castle. Not only are the student's complete imbeciles, but the teachers are as well. And the Headmistress takes the cake, she ignores everything that goes on in the castle as long as her boy wonder is doing fine."

Harry responded with rolling his eyes but realized he couldn't exactly deny that statement.

One day later found Luna Lovegood standing in a hallway in the dungeons. She was holding a familiar looking piece of parchment and finally took out a potion from her robes.

A few seconds later saw Latisha Randle standing in her place. She looked a bit dreamier than usual but not enough to make a real difference.

A few moments later Davies came around the corner.

Latisha walked up to them and stated, "I need to talk to you Roger."

Davies glared at Latisha, "What do you want?"

"Well, I can get you shagged with the lovely Miss Lovegood. You know, the one you've been drooling over," Latisha said airily.

"How?" said Davies greedily while licking his lips.

"Now, now Roger dear, everything comes with a price," said Latisha while loving the look on Davies' face on his new nickname.

" _Damn, Harry was right, calling people like that does screw around with their brains,_ " Luna mused.

"I only got to know this by sneaking around a lot. So, I want you to take an oath to never discuss this conversation or the direct actions that come from it. Either that or you'll have to pay a _very_ big bribe for me," finished Latisha.

"Fine," said Davies and unknowingly took the same oath as Ginny Weasley the day before.

"It seems that dear Luna has been shagging a certain kid in this castle. You know, one named Harry Potter," smirked Latisha.

The scream that erupted from Davies' lips would have had everyone in the castle looking for a Banshee that was on the loose. Luckily, he had been silenced a second before by Latisha.

"And how," fumed Davies after being released from the spell, "would that information get me shagged by Luna?"

"And here I thought you were a Ravenclaw," sighed Latisha, "you go to Slughorn's office and nick Polyjuice. Then you go to the Room of Requirements on Saturday when they meet. Stun Harry, take the potion and get laid. Normally you wouldn't be able to take Harry, but he might be thinking about other things than his safety at that point..."

Davies got a wide smile on his face that freaked Latisha out.

"You owe me Davies, don't you dare forget it," she said while walking away.

A few moments later Latisha was standing in an empty classroom. Seconds later an invisibility cloak was pulled off to reveal a smirking Harry Potter.

"You know, you look cute like that," said Harry, "but it doesn't beat your natural look."

Luna glared in reply while Harry finally paled a bit.

"Uhm, Luna, the Polyjuice Potion doesn't transform _everything_ , does it? Otherwise that spell might point to you and me even though it's Ginny being pregnant," asked Harry.

Luna gasped for a second while Harry paled even further.

Then she smirked and said, "Damn Harry, you really don't know a lot about potions, do you? The Polyjuice Potion only changes the way people look and nothing else. Roger and Ginny's little love-cells will be all theirs.

"I wonder what their kid will look like. Flashy red hair or shit brown hair?" asked Luna.

Harry just looked a bit green, "Please don't ask that again. I don't even want to think how that offspring will look like."

Luna's eyes widened a bit and said, "Oh, did I finally manage to find a topic to get to you? About time!"

Harry rolled his eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot in her company.

It was Saturday evening and most students were already in their dormitories. Only four people were still out.

Luna and Harry were in the corridor of the Room of Requirements while watching the Marauders Map to search out their victims.

Ginny Weasley was closest and almost in the same corridor. Luna walked out of the cloak and started her short journey to the Room of Requirements.

A few seconds later Luna was stunned in the back by Ginny. Ginny pulled out a piece of cloth and blindfolded her, so she wouldn't see the attacker. She pulled out a piece of hair and then levitated Luna behind a statue.

Harry looked from under his invisibility cloak and saw Ginny adding the hair to the potion. She drank it quickly and was transformed a few seconds later.

It seemed that their plan might go wrong because Davies had just entered the corridor.

"Well, well," said Davies, "What are you doing here Luna? Shouldn't you be in our common room?"

The fake Luna's eyes widened a bit while stuttering out "Yes ... Of course, I'll be on my way," while she walked away from Davies.

Davies sneered at her while she was leaving.

He quickly tried to enter the Room of Requirements but there wasn't a door present. Harry heard Davies mumbling "Damn, he isn't here yet."

Harry quickly silenced Luna and removed the stunner and blindfold from her. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he pushed the Map in front of her. He threw the cloak over her and he walked out of the statue.

Harry mumbled a quick, "Great, Davies," and turned around to walk away from the Room of Requirements.

Davies smiled and stunned him in the back. He quickly took a hair from him and shoved him behind the same statue the real Luna was behind.

He put the hair in the potion and swallowed it.

Just when he looked like Harry, the fake Luna came back from behind the corner.

"Harry?" she asked.

The fake Harry's eyes widened for a second and responded with a lame "Yes dear?"

Fake Luna smiled a bit and walked over to him, pulling him into a kiss.

After a little while, they both pulled away with large smiles on their faces. A moment later they both disappeared in the Room of Requirements.

The real Luna was smirking under the invisibility cloak and eventually got Harry free. It was a good thing that Luna was good at silent spell casting because she was still silenced at that point.

They both stood up and smiled at each other.

"Well, we better get to our dormitories. We might not need it, but an alibi could come handy in about a month, " said Luna.

"Right," said Harry, "Well, it was nice working with you Luna."

"Yes, it was nice working with me, wasn't it?" smirked Luna, "After all, I am the most beautiful girl in the school. While planning you had a nice view and all I had to look at was you..."

Harry smirked in reply, "Now, now my dear, no need to get offended. According to Witch Weekly, I'm quite a looker myself. So, you can't deny not having a good look while plotting..."

Luna smirked back, "You're getting better at come-backs my boy, you're getting better indeed. I've trained you well, haven't I?"

Harry just rolled his eyes and they both started going back to their dormitories.

"Luna, what's going to happen if that potion wears off _before_ they are done?" asked Harry.

Luna smirked in reply and stated, "You think Roger-poo can hold it together for that long? According to Chang he lasts about five minutes. So, with a body like mine it'll take no time at all."

"Pretty big ego huh?" asked Harry.

"Of course," she stated like it was the most normal thing in the world, "I am the prettiest witch in this castle."

"Yes, you are," smirked Harry, "and currently that body if yours is in the Room of Requirements with -

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence," whispered Luna while her eyes were as narrow as possible.

"Fine, then think of it differently. For instance, I'm not thinking about my body shagging Ginny, I'm thinking about my body shagging y-

"Do you want to get castrated?" she asked in return.

Harry paled and mumbled, "Women, can't even crack a joke anymore."

After a short walk they parted ways, Harry responded with a "Hope to see you later, cutie!"

Luna twirled back to face him while he was walking away, "I'm not a cutie! Stupid little man!"

Harry overheard the last part and said back, "I'm not a little man!"

"Well, I wouldn't know, now would I?" she said back with a wicked smile on her face that Harry didn't like for one second, "But I'm sure Roger-poo and Ginny-dear are finding that out right about now!"

"ARGH! The thought alone! Damn it Luna! I did NOT want that in my head!" complained Harry.

"Payback," stated Luna and giggled in reply, which stopped Harry from complaining further and he raised an eyebrow.

Luna glared at him "I did not giggle! It was ... Peeves! Argh! ... See you later Harry!"

Harry saw her striding away with a smile on his face, "Damn she's wicked," he mumbled. He got back to his dormitory and slept very peacefully.

It was almost a month later and Harry had to admit one thing. He missed the vicious streak of Luna. Well, not only her vicious streak, more a combination of both hers and his. And the witty comments. He didn't miss the threats of castration though.

Harry was sitting at the breakfast table enjoying the morning.

Good things never do last, because his breakfast was interrupted by a female entering the hall. She focused on him and she squealed. Yes, she squealed. The most terrifying sound that Harry had ever heard.

It did manage to draw the attention of the entire hall though. Most were still trying to clean their ears out, which meant that most people were glaring at Ginny.

"Harry! You'll never guess! I'm pregnant!"

Well, that managed to do the trick.

The entire hall was silent in the matter of a second. Half of them with their mouths half open and more than half the female population glaring hatefully at Ginny. Some of them nearly looked as if their eyeballs would pop out.

Harry decided to go for the innocent routine and cheerfully replied, "Good for you Ginny! I'm so glad for you! Who's the father by the way?"

Ron looked about ready to strangle his little sister for being pregnant while in school. The only reason he was not saying anything was probably because Daphne was whispering some insane things in his ear to distract him. That was the reason Ron was a lot more lovable these days. Being around Daphne made him think a lot more before acting.

Ginny's smile faltered for a second and she responded, "But Harry, we ..."

Harry raised an eyebrow and said "We are family, you're like my little sister. I would never _ever_ sleep with you. I don't know where you got the notion that we ever slept together."

Ginny got a smirk on her face and said "Fine! Be that way!"

Madam Pomfrey could not have picked a better time to come into the Great Hall. She looked around the Great Hall and then at Ginny, eventually she just sighed.

"Madam Pomfrey, it seems the dear father doesn't want to come forward. It's in the old laws that a spell needs to be enacted by a healer to determine the father, so we can get married," said Ginny smugly, "Of course I know it was Harry, but it seems he's a bit scared of becoming a parent."

Professor McGonagall looked resigned about the entire affair. She finally looked at Madam Pomfrey, "It is indeed the law that an unmarried witch needs to get married with the father if she gets pregnant. Could you please cast the spell Madam Pomfrey?"

Madam Pomfrey just glared in return and eventually cast the spell to Ginny.

Ginny glowed for a few seconds which only added to the smug grin she had on her face.

The glow finally came out of her and shot straight into Roger Davies.

Davies' eyes widened, and he fainted in shock. Dearest Ginny's smug smile vanished and was replaced by a look of sheer horror.

The entire school which was silent the entire time erupted in whispers, "A Davies and a Weasley?" "They shagged?" "EWWW" "Just think about how that kid will look."

Ron looked at his sister in sheer disgust and just shook his head to try and clear it. Eventually he said to Ginny, "YOU will tell this to our parents. There is NO way I'm doing that. I like my life the way it is, thank you very much!"

Ginny eventually fainted when she realized she was not only pregnant from Davies, and had to marry him as well, but she also had to tell her brothers and parents.

Professor McGonagall stood up with a twinkle in her eyes, "Well, that matter seems to be resolved. It seems Davies and Ginny managed to look past their family history!"

Both Luna and Harry were looking at Professor McGonagall with astonishment. Professor McGonagall just looked back and gave a wink to both. Which managed to create a look of horror on their faces.

"Mister Harry, Miss Lovegood, I was wondering if I could have a word with the both of you later today. I'll have to take care of the lovely couple here first of course," she finished and walked out of the Great Hall while Madam Pomfrey was trying to get them awake again.

That evening found both Luna and Harry walking to the Headmistress' Office.

"She knows, I can't believe she knows," mumbled Luna.

"She knows everything, I should have known before we even started this," said Harry.

They entered the Headmistress' Office and sat down in front of her desk.

Professor McGonagall stopped writing the letter and looked up at the both with a smile on her face.

"Nice situation you two managed to create. Very cunning as well," said Professor McGonagall.

"Err... Professor... Ginny was going to -

"Going to dose you with love potions and then trick you into marrying her with that stupid law," finished Professor McGonagall.

Luna and Harry's eyebrows rose a bit.

"And Davies seemed to think that Luna was his as well. He was just going to wait till the last day of the year and then rape and kill her," said Professor McGonagall.

Luna looked sick for a second.

"Yes, you didn't know that part, did you?" asked Professor McGonagall, "I've known about both of their little plots for some time. I also noticed the both of you trying to solve it on your own way.

"What you need to realize is that I could do nothing until they did something wrong. And they didn't. You two on the other hand," said Professor McGonagall while fixing them both with a look that promised trouble.

"Also, did absolutely nothing wrong," she finished with a smile on her face and a twinkle that went in overdrive.

"What?" stammered Luna.

"It's easy Miss Lovegood. You two didn't do anything wrong. You used some Polyjuice Potion to have some fun, that happens more than you think inside this castle. It's not your fault that Mr. Davies and Miss Weasley used certain information and decided to trick someone else into sleeping with them, is it?

"If they had thought about this for a few minutes, they would have realized that _'quick shags'_ are never done in this castle for exactly that reason. It's not your fault that they both got caught up in their own lies and deceit, and thus failed to see beyond it to find what was really going on. Had one of them used their brains then they would have realized the other person could have been Polyjuiced just like they were," said Professor McGonagall.

"Not only that, but you also managed to close both into oaths, so they can't reveal a thing about your conversations or about that night.

"However, I am going to have to punish both of you," said Professor McGonagall sternly.

"You'll receive your punishment next week. Now off with the both of you," finished Professor McGonagall with a reassuring smile that only added to Harry's anxiety.

One week later the Great Hall was in complete chaos.

People had been transformed into animals. School robes had been transformed into colorful replacements instead of the usual black. Even the teachers were suffering from the global effects.

Professor McGonagall's lips would have been pursed together... if she hadn't been transformed into her cat form.

Eventually all the commotion died down while the pranks were removed. Just as the last person was back to normal, a text appeared on the wall.

 _WITH COMPLIMENTS OF LUNA LOVEGOOD AND HARRY POTTER_

Luna and Harry both paled at the implication. Harry was the first to recover and looked over at Professor McGonagall.

Professor McGonagall was sitting in her chair with one of the largest smiles she had ever shown in public. She finally stood up, "Well, it seems we won't have to search for the pranksters at all. While this was entertaining I'm afraid that you will both have detention for the rest of the week with Hagrid."

Luna and Harry just stared in disbelief at Professor McGonagall while the rumors were already spreading throughout the hall. "Loony and Harry pranked us?" "I didn't know they knew each other" "Are they together?"

Ron's first comment sealed all the rumors though. "I didn't know you were dating a Ravenclaw Harry. I can't really complain anymore since my sister got married to one last weekend. Good luck mate!" After that he whispered, "She's damn hot too by the way," which Daphne overheard and thus hit him with the spoon she had in her hands.

Harry paled at the comment and hoped to avoid Luna's wrath for this one. Unfortunately, the entire Hall managed to pick up Ron's comment and went along with it.

A few minutes later showed both Luna and Harry tailing after a certain Professor of theirs.

When they finally caught up with her they both started talking to her.

"I can't believe you did that!" stated Luna in shock.

"You pranked us!" said Harry.

"She didn't prank us alone, she pranked the _entire_ damned school," replied Luna.

"And she got _us_ implicated as well!" responded Harry.

Professor McGonagall just kept walking with a smile on her face while finally saying, "Yes, I did prank the entire school, didn't I? And I pranked you two as well. And everyone thinks the two of you are dating now. And you still have detention the entire week. Pity it's impossible to prove any of that, isn't it?"

Luna and Harry merely glared in reply.

"My, my, I didn't know Professor Snape gave out lessons in facial expressions," asked Professor McGonagall.

Luna cracked a smile on her face from that comment and raised an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry looked at Professor McGonagall for a second more and finally said, "Fine! But you _will_ teach me that damn twinkle of yours by the end of this year!"

Professor McGonagall merely smirked in reply, turned around and went into her office. When it finally closed both Luna and Harry heard her voice mumbling in the distance, "It would have been a pity to break up such a nice couple, yes, I did it for the best. I'm sure they'll enjoy their time in detention with Hagrid. I'll have to inform him of giving them some alone time."

Luna raised her eyebrow at Harry again, "Don't even _think_ about it! I'm going to strangle someone!".

While Luna stalked off, Harry saw a couple of students arriving in the distance and decided to just go along with it.

"Of course, _dear_!"

Which got a grin out of Harry, a playful glare out of Luna, and a lot of giggling from the other students.

It was a couple of months later that saw both Luna and Harry arriving at the Lovegood Rookery.

They were all sitting in the dining room enjoying a relaxing dinner. The introduction was a bit awkward, but the conversation was finally picking up.

"So, Luna, you never told us how you met Harry here," asked Mr. Lovegood.

Harry looked over at Luna and saw her getting a mischievous expression that meant only one thing. Trouble for him.

"Well dad, I remember that moment like it was yesterday. I was walking down in the dungeons and Harry here stunned me in the back. Then he floated me in an empty classroom, silenced and bound me and had his wicked way with me," told Luna with a straight face.

Harry wanted to groan at that explanation. It was the complete truth and he was going to suffer for it.

Mr. Lovegood looked about ready to explode while Mrs. Lovegood raised an eyebrow.

"And it only took us about a week to get our naked bodies intermingled with each other to conceive a little baby!" stated Luna proudly.

"YOU WHAT," roared Mr. Lovegood while jumping up, ready to strangle Harry, "YOU TWO ... _YOU_..."

Mr. Lovegood couldn't even form the words anymore.

Mrs. Lovegood saw through the entire thing and pulled her husband back down, "Now, now dear, I'm sure this will be a very interesting story. You know our daughter dear, she just told everything and nothing at the same time."

Mr. Lovegood finally sat back down again while controlling his breathing.

Harry finally saw that Luna took her glare-lessons from her father, not from Snape.

"This is going to be such an interesting tale for our grandchildren some time," mumbled Harry.

"Grandchildren?" asked Luna and Mrs. Lovegood at the same time, both with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, _bugger me_ ," mumbled Harry while hitting his head on the table.


End file.
